Like Mother, Like Daughter
by Mystikat
Summary: Rachel is pregnant, Puck has a bit of a meltdown upon the announcement that it's going to be a girl. So he goes looking for a little advice... the enemy of your enemy is your friend, right? Future-fic, featuring Rachel's two gay dads.


**Like Mother, Like Daughter**

About two weeks after the ultrasound that declared their future child's sex, Noah begins acting strange.

And, yes, he'd already picked up a few quirks since she'd announced her pregnancy (he'd actually gone through a brief phase of refusing to touch her breasts during sex when he'd noticed they'd become larger. His logic? "Those are for my fucking kid now, babe." She'd since convinced him that they were a family that _shared_), but now he's always just staring at her belly with a furrowed brow, snaking his arm around her waist and glaring at random teenagers (all boys, so maybe not so random) on the street as they walk about town. She caught him putting on various scowls in the mirror the other day, though he was quick to effect a bland one when she'd asked him what he was doing. She'd wondered if he practiced that face in the mirror as well.

It's not until he actually puts his hand on her stomach and proceeds to tell it "not to worry because he was going to keep her safe" that she couldn't take it anymore and told him straight out that if he didn't cough up what the hell was wrong with him, she was going to move back in with her dads until she went into labor.

He just looks at her for a moment, and then a grin blooms across his face and he's catching her lips in a smacking kiss before announcing, "babe, you're a fucking _genius_." He proceeds to leap out of his seat, and leave the house.

"...what just happened?"

Here's the thing. The daddies Berry don't like him very much. Or, you know, at all. They're pretty resigned to his presence now that he has Rachel all knocked up, but that doesn't mean they've cut down on their obvious distaste for him.

"Honey, Rachel's stray mongrel is here!"

"Haven't we been meaning to get this one neutered?"

If anything, it's gotten worse.

They let him into the house, because the last time they "accidentally" locked him outside (in the middle of a snow storm, no, really) when Rachel and him came over for dinner, she chewed them out for basically an hour, which warmed him more than being cocooned in blankets ever could.

He sits in the living room chair. They sit across from him on the sofa.

Five minutes of silence and he gives up on an easy way of saying it.

"I need your help."

Derek, shrimp with glasses, actually snorts. Kenneth remains mostly stoic, but raises an eyebrow.

"I know you guys don't like me and, whatever, same goes, but we have a common enemy now."

The Misters Berry look at each other. Seriously? They knew he was an idiot who didn't deserve to lick the ground their daughter walked on, but now he was having paranoid delusions?

"Maybe we could have him committed." Derek.

"Rachel would have him out within a week." Kenneth.

"Guys. Focus. _Your daughter_ is giving birth to _another daughter_ and she's going to be hot-how could she _not_ be-and in about sixteen years there will be dudes noticing that. Dudes noticing and trying to figure out how to get her in the backseat of their car."

At that, they begin paying attention. Derek looks appalled while Kenneth just looks tired, he asks, "What do you expect us to do, Noah?"

"Shit, man, _teach me_. You two managed to actually intimidate _me_, and I've faced _a lot_ of dads." (Derek rolls his eyes.) "I can't believe I thought that you guys being gay would help, but, no, you couldn't appreciate what a slice of studliness Rachel had brought home - you were all like 'oh, this must be the boy that impregnated his best friend's girlfriend and who used to TP our house on a weekly basis', which, by the way, you guys need to get over. Anyway. You are the best at what you do, so _fucking teach me_."

Derek looks a little speechless, glancing sideways at his partner while Kenneth actually appears amused by Puck's little rant. He shakes his head, noting how on edge Puck looks - he understands the desperation that brought the boy to their door, but, sadly...

"There's nothing we can do."

Puck clenches with jaw. "It's for _your grand daughter_."

"Yes, Noah, I realize that. She's also the evidence that even 'the best at what we do' can't stop a very determined hoodlum."

"That was different," Puck barks. "I love her."

It doesn't occur to him at all that this is the first time that he's admitted this in front of them.

It's Derek that says, "and Rachel loves you. Honestly, Noah, the best thing you can do for your daughter is teach her to take care of _herself_ and hope that the backseat she climbs into will be with someone who loves her."

Kenneth grins, "and when it comes time for you to meet whoever that may be, we'll help you make sure that he'll go through hell to stay with her."

He looks at them, and thinks he sees something like acceptance in their eyes. And if _they_ can approve of _him_, then maybe someday... It'll all turn out okay.

("Does this mean you'll stop trying to food poison me?"

"One step at a time, Noah.")

**Author's Note: **Based on the prompt "Puck and Rachel are having a little girl, he is ecstatic. Until he realized she will one day meet a boy like him…" at the Puck/Rachel drabble-a-thon in the livejournal community "puckrachel".

Who else wants Rachel's two gay dads to get some screen time? I know I sure as fuck do.


End file.
